London - Day 1

In which Jay flies to London, meets up with a long time friend and finds some knickers.

After being on planes for a ridiculous amount of time (here’s a tip: don’t book online for flights if you’re inexperienced with international travel!), I landed in Heathrow and did my best to follow the directions my friend, Mike Wood left for me. His directions were perfect – up until I got off the plane. Having accomplished none of the instructions put forth to me, I still managed to find his flat (oh yes I learned new words...be on the lookout for bollocks, footie and especially knickers).

I know Mike through a mutual friend. We did many comical things together like acting in plays, performing at busking festivals and even performing stand-up together under the moniker, Mike and Jay: the Famous Comedy Trio. Mike moved to London a few years ago and when I decided I was going to visit another friend in Greece this summer – I found out that I could tag a week’s visit in London with Mike.

Mike’s flat was small but also very nice. We chatted and I mentioned that I had a goal to hear someone say the word ‘knickers’ while we were here. Mike nodded and accepted the challenge. Mission #1 was afoot. We decided to do a bit of a walk-around, but before leaving he wanted to demonstrate something pretty cool about London. He pulled out two beers from the fridge and said, let’s go. We walked outside with the beers and I was surprised to learn that we could walk around with open alcohol anywhere in London! I felt like I was in Vegas again (editor: Jay Cormier: International Man was in Las Vegas Spring 2007)!

We journeyed throughout his neighbourhood and he did his “duty” and pointed out quasi important landmarks and explained certain historical significances of the surroundings.

Here’s an aside (warning: there might be learning here). Back in ‘the day’ (this is an easy way for me to recount a tale without the accuracy of facts and dates!), when literacy was very low, the pubs (which, incidentally, got their name from the word public, as opposed to more exclusive establishments) would call themselves some sort of noun. They would put a picture of that noun out front, along with the word pub and that’s how people knew which was which. “Meet you at the Fox” for example. Then, wouldn’t you believe it, pubs became popular and more of them opened. Apparently they ran out of nouns as they started repeating some of them. This of course, caused a bit of confusion so they had to add a second noun. And so was born the English pubs as we know them: The Cat and the Mutton, The Fox and the Hound etc.... Neat!

We explored Brick Lane which was full of crafty stalls and edible treats. He also pointed at how business, having run out of space anywhere else, started opening shops underneath archways of the train bridges.

For dinner we went to the Lauriston – a nearby pub that served great tasting thin crust pizza. After eating we chatted and drank some British ale.

As the place became more and more packed, two ladies/girls/females asked if they could sit at our table. But of course, we said. Instantly the famous comedy trio of Mike and Jay returned as we were both on fire, humourously as we chatted up the ladies. It was times like those that Mike and I wished it had been recorded as there were so many funny things said that night!

At one point, one of the girls, Sian, mentioned something about her trousers. Immediately Mike pounced with, “and what’s underneath your trousers?” She responded as if it were obvious, “...my knickers.”

Well, any onlooker might have expected a footie match was on the tele and our team just scored the winning goal. Mike and I rejoiced with a huzzah and a high five. Mission #1 accomplished.

As the night continued, Sian’s friend left while Sian, Mike and I kept yammering away. It was possibly the funniest time I’ve ever had in my life. What a great day to start my vacation!